My Weekend of Freedom

The husband he has gone away
To go walking (quite a lot)
The boys and I had our big plan
Of films and fizzy pop

A weekend full of games and fun
Had started off so well
Their friend was staying over
(What’s coming, can you tell?)

The kids were hyperactive
And drinks they gaily swilled
But sure enough within an hour
Those drinks were mostly spilled

I opted not to give them sweets
It was for my own sake
I couldn’t bear at 3am
To see them wide awake

Things started getting settled
A movie they did pick
When all at once the dog jumped up
And started being sick

Don’t feel for this here dog though
No sympathy do utter
I did some baking earlier
And she stole half the butter

Well that caused a commotion
The kids weren’t settled now
‘Oh god that stinks’, ‘mum clean it up’
I’d like to, son, but how?!

I decided on a method
To eradicate that odour
And after that, I desperately
Added vodka to my soda

Frozen was the movie
The boys had picked, you know
An hour and half of hearing
Their tuneless ‘Let it go’

Oh how I love this weekend
Of doing as I please
Oh walking husband won’t you
Hurry back home please?!

Tonight will be the second
(And thankfully last) night
‘Cos also my dear youngest
Has given me a fright

For months and months he’s had a cough
It’s always on his chest
He’s had it ages, on and off
What treatment is the best?

The GP said ‘this boy is fine’
I should have been relieved
So why was I, at 2am
Helping him to breathe?

It’s true, I am exhausted
From just one weekend night
I manage great all through the week
Now I’m glad the end’s in sight

When he gets back, that walking man
There’ll be no resting for his head
For when he walks through that front door
I’m going straight to bed!


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